Nonverbal Messages

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Nonverbal Messages

Donna Crawford

COM-40164

November 24, 2012

 

 

 

 

 

 

            This reflection essay about an interpersonal situation in which I misread and misinterpreted someone’s nonverbal message involved me, my girlfriend, and a friend of hers. My friend and her friend are both from Mexico. I explained my assignment and asked her what cultural label she preferred to be referenced as. She responded that she preferred Mexican to Mexican-American or Latino, so Mexican will be the label I will use throughout this assignment.

            My friend invited me to go with her to see a friend of hers who she needed to speak with. Her friend lived in a neighborhood that was mostly populated with Mexican residents; some legal, some not. Most of them did not speak English and I spoke a little Spanish, but formal Spanish that was taught in high school. Mexican is very different than formal Spanish. This should have been the first clue that I was going to be interacting with a culture that was very different from the Spanish culture I had studied and from the interpersonal relationship I had with my friend.

            When we arrived at the residence of the friend (a Mexican man in his late 40s) he came outdoors and greeted my friend with a hug and a kiss on the cheek. She stood between him and me and did not introduce me. I thought this was rude and out of character for my friend, so I slightly nudged her to introduce me. I could tell she was resistant and I could not understand their conversation. I cleared my throat to signal her again and she gave me a look as if to say “ok, you asked for it.” She introduced him to me first and then me to him. I am a very outgoing and friendly person, so I made eye contact, gave a friendly smile and a handshake. He then grabbed me with a full body hug and a kiss on the mouth, along with other nonverbal body language that was very uncomfortable to me. My friend spoke Mexican to him and broke us apart. She remained between us until we left and she hurried me to the car.

            When we began to drive off, I asked my friend about what happened. After she finished laughing, she explained some of the Mexican man’s cultural background and beliefs. She explained that in Mexico, a man of his age interprets a big smile, prolonged eye contact, and the extension of the hand from a woman is considered as a sexual advancement. He thought I was sexually interested in him and he responded in the same manner by his body language towards me.

            This incident validated how crucial nonverbal messages can be. There was no verbal communication between me and the man, but my nonverbal message to him was misinterpreted because of our cultural norms being very different. I wanted to express friendliness and he perceived seduction. All of this occurred within seconds and without verbal communication. Nonverbal communication can enhance verbal communication or it can be its own message. It is critical that there is a cultural understanding between the sender and the receiver in order for nonverbal messages to be understood and effective.